I Wish I Could Just Let Go
by kimmiehier
Summary: Aubrey Posen was supposed to be the next successor of her family, but then Beca Mitchell walked into her life, changing everything. I don't think it's M right now, but it will be at some point.
1. Chapter 1

_"What about that girl?" The voice of the readheaded woman next to her, Chloe Beale. It had been Aubrey's best, sometimes even only, friend for several years now. The woman pointed to a smaller girl, a freshman, obviously. Aubrey made a face of disgust, she had an alternative style, wearing horrible metal things in her ear, dark make-up and headphones on her neck. It made her feel weird, something she never felt before, so this girl could only mean trouble for the Bella's. "No, she is a little too alternative for us." _

It had all started since that point. The point that ruined her life, the girl that ruined her life, Beca Mitchell. Before she had met her, she was so certain of what she wanted to be, who she wanted to be, and how to achieve that. This girl had changed it all, without even noticing.

Aubrey Posen, daughter of one of the richest persons in the world, was supposed to become the next CEO of the family business, or at least become a great lawyer. The pressure of her name made her ambitious, and she could happily fulfill their wishes. Everything made sense, until Beca came along. The rebel walked into her life, making her feel.

What that feeling was? It was love.

She tried to deny it all the time, she couldn't possibly believe that not only had she fallen for a woman, but for a woman that rebelled against everything that she stood for. She was everything Aubrey hated and fought not to be, and yet she fell in love with her. You might wonder what's the big deal there, falling in love isn't that bad right? As her father always said, _"Love is your worst enemy." _Why you ask? Because if it is real love, you want to do anything for that person, give up everything just to get close. It's difficult to fight that feeling, you can never drop your guard even for a second, because it _will_ take over eventually.

Aubrey had always kept her guard up to prevent falling in love, that was the reason why she looked so stubborn and uptight. But now that it actually happened, she understood how difficult fighting it was exactly. To make it even worse, her best friend had a crush on her as well, causing jealousy next to it every time anything happened between them. Not only her best friend, there was also something going on with that Treble guy, Jesse…

"Aubrey, the group will be here in 5 minutes."

Chloe got her out of her thoughts, thankfully. They had been early to the auditorium, to set things up, but they were done early. "Oh right. Thanks Chlo." She smiled to the redhead and walked towards the piano as Beca came in. Of course, out of all people, Beca needed to be the first. She was glad Chloe came with her.

"Hey Beca!" Chloe greeted her happily, as she always did. Her personality covered her crush for the brunette, she was able to act excited anyway, without being suspicious.

"Hey Chloe." She smiled, the not-interested-look in her eyes, as always. "And good afternoon Aubrey." Her smile faded.

"Hi." Short and cold, the Aubrey that Beca was used to.

"You are sure happy to see me, aren't you?" Beca rolled her eyes, obviously being sarcastic.

"You have no idea…" A wave of fear rushed through her body, did she actually say that out loud? She immediately got her guard back up, repeating the mantra _'you hate her'_ in her head.

"Perhaps we could get an idea! Why won't we have a girls night tonight with the Bella's!" Chloe's enthusiasm nearly swept her off her feet. A girls night wasn't even such a bad idea…

"Only if the other Bella's are coming too, I'll consider it."

"Aw, come on Beca, it'll be fun!" At that moment the other Bella's came in, apparently they waited up for each other at the entrance. "There they are! Girls! What about girls night tonight?!" Chloe almost pranced towards them, as excited as she was. It pretty much threw everyone off their feet.

"Uh.. Sure?" Cynthia Rose was the first one to get a hold of herself, well, kind of. Soon after that everyone agreed to the plan. They all stared at Beca as Chloe got back to her with puppy eyes. "Will you come as well then?"

The shorter woman let out a sigh and nodded, "Fine, if you all insist.." She looked at Aubrey, who was pretending to think about it.

She wanted it all too badly, she simply couldn't resist, but she wasn't allowed to show that. Ever. After a few seconds she finally said something. "Alright, a Bella's night it is." She said with a friendly smile, the group started to cheer. "But first more important things… We have the Regionals coming up in a few weeks!"


	2. Chapter 2

_Do you feel the same? Or am I only dreaming…_

That Friday night they had their girls night at Chloe and Aubrey's place, since it was Chloe's suggestion and her roommate was a Bella as well. They were watching Final Destination 2, a movie in which the characters are being followed by death, trying to break the pattern to survive. Beca enjoyed the moments where one died, but couldn't manage to keep her attention at the rest of the movie. Especially since Chloe pretended to be scared and kept holding to her. Aubrey tried to pay attention to the movie instead of paying attention to them, trying to prevent from being jealous. That pretty much failed.

"I have an idea… What about truth or dare?" Stacie suggested at the end of the movie. Yes, it was a cliché happy-ending and the main character survived.

"Oh! But I want to be able to have an escape.." Ashley noted.

Chloe nodded and got some shots, "Is two enough?" Everyone agreed with the plan and they started their round.

"Fat Amy! Truth or dare?" Cynthia Rose asked her.

"Uuh… Truth.." The last dare was to run around naked, she wouldn't want to use another escape so quickly.

"What's between you and Bumper?" She asked, and the Bella's started to laugh when she took her shot immediately, just not Aubrey, taking an escape on that one wasn't exactly a good sign. Aubrey had used both her shots already, but that didn't mean she couldn't think clearly. She was able to think clearly even if she was drunk. Not that she could act like that though.

"Aubrey! Truth or dare?" Shit.

"Dare." She rather embarrassed herself at this point than telling something she'd later regret.

Amy could barely hold back her laugh as she thought of something, everyone looking at her curiously; it was something she couldn't refuse after all. "Kiss Beca." And she pointed at Beca, laughing even louder than before.

Beca looked kind of confused, but she just knew Aubrey was never going to do that. It was ridiculous… Right?

The truth was far from Beca's expectations and before she knew it Aubrey was in front of her. Aubrey actually wanted to, and this was the perfect excuse to do it. She nervously looked in her eyes, piling her reaction when she relaxed a little. She slowly moved forward, keeping track of her response, but she didn't move a bit. Their lips touched each other, and to Aubrey's surprise Beca kissed back. At that moment she forgot about the other Bella's, who were completely silent by the way, and moved her tongue over Beca's lower lip. Her mouth opened in response and there was even a sort of passion in this kiss. For what seemed to be forever, Aubrey finally pulled back, looking at Beca intensely.

"Hey Aubrey, a quick kiss was good enough.. You know."

She felt her cheeks getting red in response and quickly got back to her spot, clearing her throat. Chloe's eyes were shining brightly, it was clear that she had an idea. Therefore Aubrey asked her best friend a rather simple question when she said truth.

"Okay. Beca! Truth or dare?" Chloe asked the smaller alt girl, who still had a shot left, stretching dare.

She shook her head as she expected that, being just as curious as the other Bella's what she was up to. "Dare."

"Kiss Aubrey." She smiled to the freshman. She still had her escape after all, so if she didn't enjoy the previous one she would definitely take her shot. Aubrey colored red again, watching what Beca would do.

As Beca slowly got to Aubrey, the senior's heart started beating like crazy. There was no point in holding back anymore, the Bella's noticed it already, only a blind man wouldn't have noticed. She swore she saw the brunette smile when she leaned in to kiss her, being even more intense than before. It soon turned into a small make-out session. They remembered they weren't alone when Cynthia Rose made a fake cough, both being red as a tomato.

"Aubrey. When?" Beca didn't bother to ask truth or dare, she just needed to know.

The question was clear, even though it were just 2 simple words. When did she fall in love? "When I first saw you at the activities fair.."

_Awwwww_… You could hear it softly through the room if you would concentrate enough on it. Aubrey looked nervously at Chloe, but she seemed to be fine with it, luckily. And the game continued…


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so sorry for the long wait guys, 4,5 month isn't nothing, I know, I know. On this site it's been like over a month, so it's shorter, but it's still WAY TOO LONG. So, to reassure you guys, the next chapter is almost done as well, and if it goes according to plan, it'll be ****_good_****, if you know what I mean. Anyways, enjoy! I hope it was worth the wait!**

* * *

"I'll leave you two love birds alone." Chloe said with a wink after leaving to her room. The Bellas were all gone by now and only Beca was still there, along with the two woman who lived here, she figured it would be nice to have a talk with Aubrey. Well, at least talking, more was welcome of course.

"So... Why didn't you do anything before?" The brunette asked the intoxicated senior. She had tried to keep it down with the alcohol, but that seemed impossible.

Aubrey looked down, biting the insides of her cheek nervously. "I- You-.." She sighed. "There are so many reasons, I don't know where to start." Beca quirked an eyebrow, gesturing she should continue her explanation. "First of all, no wait, not first, it's not the most important reason, or is it? I don't know it's a reason." The blonde started her ramble, "You have an obvious toner for that Jesse guy and beside the oath I think I still feared the worst. Also, Ch-.. No, I can't say that, that's not for me to tell. And you are..." She gestured Beca's entire body, "You. The ear monstrosities, the over-used eyeliner, the tattoos, your attitude..."

"What is that suppo-" The freshman started to protest, feeling anger boiling up, but was abruptly cut off by the blonde.

"No, I'm not finished, you asked me why, so I talk, you listen and be quiet." Beca closed her mouth with a pout, Aubrey just rolled her eyes at that and ignored that. "Look, you are exactly the opposite of what I am looking for, no _was_ looking for, hell, even your gender. But I fell in love with all of it, I fell in love with _you._ I guess I'm just a little scared, that's all. I was taught that love was my worst enemy, so I made sure I wouldn't fall in love, I would marry a man of a rich family that would be of advantage for our family business, no feelings involved. But then _you_ came along and just made me forget all of that. I'm done now." It was quite the rant, but hopefully it would be clear now. Well, she was drunk, both of them were, maybe it was just a messy explanation that wouldn't be clear _at all_.

Beca pulled the taller woman into a kiss, pouring her emotions in it. It was intense, filled with love and a lot of other feelings... And alcohol. "I'm sorry, I'm just bad with words." She said when she pulled away.

She chuckled, "And I'm guessing that was something like 'I'm glad you did it anyway'?"

The brunette shrugged, "Something like that." She pulled her into another kiss, tender and warm, different from the one before. "And that was more a 'Do you want to go to dinner with me tomorrow?'"

Aubrey grinned, "If I remember that tomorrow, I will." She was pretty good with remembering things after a night being drunk, besides, she wasn't _that_ far gone, so that wasn't a problem.

"Can I stay here to sleep?" The blonde nodded, "How about we go get some then." Beca smiled, walking to the queen sized bed.

They lay down into the bed with their backs towards each other, after bidding each other a good night and sweet dreams and all. It felt a little awkward though, the distance and Aubrey turned around to spoon Beca. Judging by the reaction she wasn't used to it in the slightest, but seemed to like it anyway. And like that, Aubrey drifted off into a dreamless night of sleep.

* * *

The day flew by, the women still each going separate ways as they had appointments. Chloe had interrogated Aubrey about what happened and didn't really believe that nothing happened and that they pretty much went straight to bed, but eventually the blonde had convinced her, one way or another. All her thoughts disappeared when there was a knock on her door, 7 pm sharp, _impressive._

Beca hadn't been sure to bring anything or not, and if she were to bring something, _what_ should she bring? All she could come up with were cliché things, which she definitely wanted to avoid. She ended up with nothing and just sank into mixing for the rest of the day, being thankful she had set the alarm to remind her to get ready for her date. She wanted to put on something classy, when she realized she actually didn't have anything like that. The last time she wore something like that, was when she was twelve years old. She had to go with plaids and dark jeans, but making sure her make-up was a bit lighter and her hear neat.

Even if she expected it, she was still found speechless by Aubrey's appearance; it was truly stunning. She had a short turquoise dress with tights, wearing flat shoes, which was at least as elegant as any other high-heeled shoes she would wear. _Thoughtful_. The brunette stood there, slightly embarrassed, giving her a small smile, "Hi."

Aubrey didn't quite know if she should be annoyed or not by her typical Beca appearance, she did like that look, though. _Screw formalities_. She stepped outside, closing the door in the same motion, catching the brunette in a passionate kiss, using the wall as back-up. She smirked lightly when she felt her gasp slightly in surprise, but quickly getting into it. Their lips molded together like yin and yang, perfectly fitting together. The senior only pulled away when they were both lacking oxygen. "Hi," she smiled deviously, "Ready?"

A soft 'wow' left her lips, taking a moment to redeem herself. The DJ sure didn't expect that to happen. "Yeah. Come on." She walked to the exit, gesturing for the blonde to follow with a grin. Which she did.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Aubrey asked after driving for a solid twenty minutes, her curiosity was killing her by now, she had been able to restrain herself from the moment Beca was in front of her door, but there was only so much a girl could take. Hell, she had been wondering all day where they would be going.

Beca merely shrugged, "You'll see when we get there." She wanted the best for their first date, so she wanted to go to a less noisy place than Atlanta and she had found the perfect place for this to happen.


End file.
